worry

I have talked about the fun of traveling but not the worry before you go. When trying to decide to take the trip I think everyone first worries about if they can afford it.  They worry about the fact that the family is home and they are so far away. They worry that the doctor they know is home and they are so far away. What happens if they get sick?  What happens if their kids need them? They think about the activities they will miss?  The games, the dance recitals, the plays.  I think as older people we tend to worry more about others then ourselves but we fear being alone to face everything too. I know we set down and made a pro and con list. My kids are grown, my grandkids are grown except the one that doesn't live around me. In fact none of my grandkids live near me.

I have a wise old friend that once told me that I should not move to where my kids live. I was thinking of moving when my last child left the area and I was telling him and he said. If you had no family where would you live and why? I said "well right here of course, this is home, it is where I grew up and where my friends live, I feel comfortable here".  He told me "you have your answer as to if you should move or not. So many people move to be near their kids but the problem is the kids have their own lives now and most in this day and age are busy with both parents working. They barely have time for themselves or their stuff around the house. Now you are living in an area that you don't know anyone. Your friends are far away. All the stuff you are familiar with are far away and you are trying to get them to spend more time with you. Usually you actually get to spend more time with them when you come to visit or they come to visit you as you would living next to them.  They feel guilty cause they don't spend more time with you and you resent their stuff because you never see them and start feeling like a burden.  When we grow up we have to live our own lives no matter what age we are to the best of our abilities.

Cherish your children but let them have their life and you have yours and fit each other in when you can and you will all cherish each and every memory.

I have the same worries as everyone else and I hate being so far from my kids and my home but I am also enjoying making memories with my mom. I am also enjoying seeing new scenery and the stress free life of being lazy. When you are home you never quit working because every where you look is something that needs to be done and you feel guilty setting around and not doing it.  Here there isn't a lot to do, clean, feed the animals and cook and the rest of the time????  who knows what tomorrow brings, reading, hiking, just sitting and looking or maybe making new friends.  I am not one to want to run to Laughlin to gamble or the nightlife. I just want to be with nature and read and paint and play with my dogs.