Old age is not for the weak

Each day brings new challenges to taking care of our elderly parents.  We have to set down and remember what they put up with us as kids but you know what the most important thing is??  Love and humor. You have to see the humor.  That is something we were taught in emergency services. What you have to deal with is rough and if you can't find humor you will go insane. I think the same happens with our elderly parents.

I have a friend that got up in the morning and went into her bathroom and nothing remained except a hole in the floor. Her dad had got up in the middle of the night and decided it was taking up to much room because you could just pee in the hole. He has dementia really bad so he took of the toilet and threw it out in the yard.  The story she told of the incident had me rolling  on the floor laughing with tears running down my cheeks.  He manages to do stuff all the time and she deals with it with making it into a funny story.

I am a president of a board and we were having a meeting. Mom was feeling tired and shaky so I asked her if she wanted someone to come set with her. She said "no" I just overdid it and feeling kind of tired and weak. I will be fine, I will just set here.

I told her my daughter was home and had her phone if she needed anything she could be here in just a couple of minutes.  I said just take it easy until I get home and don't be up running around. I meant take it easy and not be up running around working cleaning house, doing laundry etc.

I went to my meeting and just as we are getting ready to discuss an important item on the agenda my phone rings and it shows home. My heart stops, I grab the phone and say "what is wrong?"  Mom says nothing I was just wondering how much longer you were going to be.  I said probably about an hour, why?  What do you need?  She says "I need to go to the bathroom and I am not suppose to get up."  I said yes you can, I just meant don't be up working. She says "does that mean I can get something to eat while I am up?"

I just shook my head. I really need to learn how to phrase things better. The guy next to me said "is everything ok?"  What did she need?"...I said she wanted to go to the bathroom and get something to eat.  He started laughing and said he was going to turn me in for elder abuse...

Then I get home and all the dogs are in the house...Now that I did say...Don't let the dogs in the house they might trip you, it is a sunny day and they can stay outside. I don't care if they get in a fight or what, they can just stay out there"

Now she won't get up to go to the bathroom when I say don't get up and run around but when I specially say don't let the dogs in she does....

The joys of caring for the elderly but I will tell you something. I am so glad every day that I get that chore. It is such a joy and I love having my mom around even if she is 91. She is fantastic and one of the biggest joys in my life.  One of my friends said I had a lot of patience but I don't and that is not what is needed, it is seeing the humor in it and loving her.

Then today she wanted to go to the doctor. I said ok, get ready and we will go up there. I asked her what is wrong that she wanted to go to the doctor as it scared me as I usually have to force her to go to the doctor.  She said "I am out of pills". I said we don't have to go to the doctor for that, we go to the drug store.  She said "I know but it is expired and I have to get new ones".  She was just at the doctor last month and she said just have the drug store call when it expires.  Off to the drug store we went and got her pills. I asked her if she needed to go to the doctor for anything else and asked her how she was feeling and she said "I don't know, I don't remember why I wanted to go so I must not need to go now".

Boy I think she is getting even with me for everything I did to her as a child and I have told you some of those stories...I can't wait to get even with my kids and it is getting closer every day. It is so frustrating when you forget things. I see someone and I know I have gone to lunch with them, I know their sense of humor, I remember their kids and even the kids name and for the life of me can't think of their name. It is funny how our old brains work sometimes and then later pop, there is their name easy as can be to remember.

Growing old is not for the weak but then neither is raising kids especially teenagers. Love your parents because after they are gone you would love to be able to care for them. I wish every day for 24 years that I also had my dad here to care for too.